I preface this post by saying that I love China and the Chinese people. All humorous generalizations and nick-names for Chinese people are made out of love, so don’t be offended, or I’ll sick a Crasian on you.

Typical day in China.

8:00 – Wake up. Make some Nescafe and review vocab before class, check email, read illegally downloaded foreign press.

9:20-12:30 – Chinese class with one of the sweetest Chinese teachers on the planet. Most of my time is spent thinking of funny phrases I can make with my limited vocabulary, or memorizing whatever Chinese cuss-word my roommate taught me the night before. We have tests everyday, which sucks, but I can express my dislike for tests with an increasingly colorful range of Chinese slang.

12:30-1:30 – Lunch in the cafeteria. After complaining “wo e si le!” (I am hungry to the point of death) we will drop the $1.50 for a meal of either, pot stickers and tea, Muslim noodles with tomatoes, or the Chinese specialty, Something with Some Kind of Salty Sauce and Some Vegetable over Rice – Served Room Temperature. Today, while I was standing in the poultry line I noticed the newest menu item, Entire-Baked-Duck, it was literally staring me in the face.

1:30-5 – More class. Classes are hard but incredibly interesting. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy studying about China, especially my foreign policy class. Oh, and we always spend the first 30 minutes of my Buddhism class meditating, which is pretty badass.

5/6ish – Dinner. usually off campus. This is where you have the best chance of running into some of China’s archetypes. We have ID'd five so far.

Crasians – Crazy Asians – A term that applies to almost everyone you meet in China. I have yet to meet a truly crazy person, but chances are absolutely anyone will at one point do something that will weird you out. We (foreigners) weird Chinese people out all the time, it’s the fun of cross-cultural exchange. It’s never the person that is crazy, it’s always the situation, and the fact that life in China is just fundamentally different than in the States.

Rasians -- Raisin Asians i.e. really old Chinese people. So cute, so nice. A big reason I love China.

Gaysians – Gay Asians, more common at the discos, occasionally spotted in the wild. Credit goes to Courtney for first introducing me to this beautiful word.

Sensatians -- Sensational Asians, or sensationally attractive Chinese people.

Ragins – Rage-filled Asian – usually a middle aged woman serving some kind of food, occasionally a taxi driver.

Dinner is usually followed by browsing the new DVDs for sale on the street (DVDs range from 50 cents to 2 dollars), going out for beer and kabobs or a trip to Wu-Mart (the Chinese answer to Wal-Mart, soooo much better than its American rival).

The rest of the evening is spent doing homework or something that will probably be confusing (have I mentioned that living in China is really confusing? Like, all the time?). Yesterday my friend Matt and I were asked to “Come to a party and sing a Chinese song or two, like a game”. Turns out it’s a cultivation event for an on-campus student union. We had enough warning to prepare our songs, thank God. When we arrived we found out there were around 250 students in attendance. We ended up singing Chinese pop songs to them (listening to the music on headphones) to see if they can recognize the songs despite our accents and terrible Mandarin, correct guesses were rewarded with stuffed animals. In short, Laugh at the Foreigner Hour. It was actually a blast, my rendition of Xiao Miao got a couple of screams, I think a girl might have fainted.

(the above is a perfect example of why we use the word Crasian. Normal kids + desire to place you in situations that resemble a movie more than real life = Crasians)

That’s about it. I come home from whatever activity and hang out with Jack while we do homework, and turn in about 1AM. Overall it’s a pretty sweet existence.

The best part is when something that was crazy starts to seem totally normal. Today, as I spit a chicken bone out onto the table, I didn’t think twice about what anyone would say, because it’s just what you do. I can’t imagine having a conversation without using or intentionally misusing Chinese and Chinese slang. It’s a strange thing to be permanently apart from the culture you are surrounded by, but yet assuming many of its more superficial quirks. I saw someone stick their chopsticks into their rice rather than lay them across the bowl when they finished (a big no-no) and I was a little shocked (then I told myself to chill-out).

I realize re-reading this just how much it sounds like my life is Us versus Them, which isn’t the vibe here at all. It is true in-so-far as it is used as a humorous defense mechanism, and the Chinese nationalism and pride does lend itself into those kinds of divisions, but I do have and love a bunch of Chinese friends. Life here is more hilarious and fun than anything else, and if it wasn’t for graduating and missing my Meiguo pengyou (American Friends) I would try to stay the year.

But don’t worry, I’m still coming home in December.

Probably with a bottle of snake wine.